Paul – Placed

Description

*Meet Paul!

*Paul is 7 years old and was adopted privately when he was 3 years old.  The circumstances of his placement were very traumatic and he has never attached to the adoptive home.  Paul lived with his bio mom, younger half-sister, grandma and several other family members until the time of his adoption.  The social workers who placed him into his adoptive home ‘helped’ him (Paul was 3 years old) transition to the adoptive family by introducing him one day (couple hours at a park and ice cream) and then the next day meeting the adoptive family at a restaurant and sneaking the mom away when Paul wasn’t looking.  Then the social worker helped to put himscreaming and crying into the adoptive family’s car and they drove home with them.  They’d spent a total of less than 4 hours together and nothing was explained to the children.  

It looked (and felt) like a kidnapping to Paul (and to the adoptive parents—who felt the transfer was awful but were trusting that the social worker knew what she was doing).  Paul has been angry and distrustful of the adoptive home since day one—I’m sure you are feeling as upset as we were right now, reading this horror story.  Paul’s family has tried everything they can think of to help him feel safe with them, but he simply does not.  However, his behavior outside of their family home is night/day different.  Right now, he’s staying with his adopted grandparents and doing wonderfully; this gives us great hope that, in a new, different adoptive home, he will attach and do well.  We commonly hear stories like this and often the child feels ‘kidnapped’ during the process of their first adoption and ‘rescued’ when the second adoption occurs.  Since Paul is doing so well at his grandparents, we feel that he has an excellent chance to start fresh with a new adoptive home.  

We are requiring that there be no other kids under age 10 in the new adoptive home (and any child over age 10 should be emotionally and physically healthy), so Paul can truly receive the one-on-one attention he craves.  Paul has the most behavioral problems with his adopted mom, so we will not consider a single mom for him, but all other kinds of families will be considered.

Second Chance requires that all our adoptive families have a current private homestudy to adopt from our program.  If you have one that needs an update or changing from international to domestic, let us know.  If you are less than three weeks from having the updates/changes completed, we can still work with you on this adoption.  

Paul will likely need therapy after moving into his new home, so make sure you have access to that for him and your insurance will cover it (he’s been successful with tele-health, so in person therapy is not required).  

He also takes a new kind of ADHD medication called Jornay that does not yet have a generic option and without insurance it is around $500 a month, so please check with your insurance on the cost of this daily medication.  Second Chance encourages families to NOT change any of the child’s medications after they come home for at least several months—this allows for attachment to occur without the risk of adding unnecessary behaviors as a result of weaning off medications that the previous pediatrician or psychiatrist prescribed.  Many of our relinquishing families have worked hard to find medications (and dosages) that work for the child and the last thing we need to have happen is to cold-turkey the kiddo off these during a delicate time of transitioning to a new home and family.  

If you are interested in learning more about this child and his need for a new adoptive home, please write to secondchanceinfo@wiaa.org .  We have a lot of great information to share with you on this little boy.

Paul loves robotics, searching for things outside, watching sports, and reading. He is also very creative and artistic. His drawing skills are very strong and he has often mentioned he either wants to make robots when he is an adult or illustrate books.  

Paul is kind, caring, considerate, polite, and a hard worker. He has a vivid imagination and creates whole imaginative scenarios that keep him entertained for hours. He is also very inquisitive and loves to learn!  His favorite color often changes, but right now it is gold. His favorite food is Skyline Chili. His favorite activity is playing outside – he loves to play outside as often as weather allows. And his favorite toy is a domino robot he built. He also loves to play with craft supplies and Lego (pretty much anything he can create with!)

He has gotten the character award at school multiple times this year. He has only ever had glowing report cards and parent teacher conferences regarding Paul. He enjoys school and thrives off of the success he has there. Paul is very popular with his peers. They often hear how well liked he is. He has maintained the same core group of close friends through kindergarten and first grade.  There has never been a single instance of him not getting along well with peers or being disliked or unwelcomed by them.

Click this link to view video of Paul:​​https://www.youtube.com/shorts/tQUf3a8Rkbw

This is a private adoption, so a state or foster home study might not work. A state authorized private domestic or international home study is generally required. You will need to have a current, or easily-updated home study for this adoption.

Due to state laws, we are not able to place this child in CT, MA, NY, or DE. If you live in OR, you may need to travel to the child’s state to finalize this adoption. If you live in WI, please let us know, as the adoption process may be longer and a bit more expensive than what is listed in our paperwork.  If you have never had a home study before, we cannot help you adopt this child. But we would love to share with you the process of starting a home study so you could be approved for a child in the near future. Please write to us and ask us how to get started! If you are a U.S. citizen living overseas, we may be able to work with you depending on a few details.

Adoption is a legal process so there will be costs associated. This adoption may qualify for the IRS Adoption Tax Credit.

Contact us at secondchanceinfo@wiaa.org

*To protect the privacy of our waiting children and their families, Second Chance does not share real names for our waiting children on the Internet. It is our policy to only share a snippet of a waiting child’s details as well as the type of adoptive family we are looking for. If you fit the POSTED REQUIREMENTS, are home study ready (or can be soon!), and interested in adding this child to your family, please write to us for an honest, in-depth profile on the child including medical, educational, and behavioral information and learn the full story of why this child needs a secondary adoption. Our program social worker and program director have worked together with the child’s family to carefully set the requirements for the new family. These requirements are not negotiable, so please honor the needs of this child by not asking us to bend them for you.